F My Life
by WindowChild
Summary: FML - Hunger Games' style. Chapter One: Katniss.


A/N: Those of you who read my Percy Jackson stories may know that I have an FML fic for them as well. So yeah, in case you couldn't get, I'm obsessed with FML. Also, I'm going to offer the same warning here. If you do not read FML, I cannot promise that you'll find this funny. Like, at all. In fact, I can't promise that anyway, but you're more likely to find this funny if you do read FML. Got it? Okay, let's roll.

Warning: MAJOR profanity.

My dad died last week, in a mine explosion. Because of this, my mother has decided to neglect my sister and I in order to wallow in self-pity. She's seven, I'm eleven, and we live in District "STARVATION IS US" 12. FML.

Today, my friend Gale and I had a discussion about how we are both signed up for lots of tesserae. Never mind the fact that everything basically sucks anyway, now I have to worry about having my only friend die. FML.

…My only friend. I am twelve years old, and my only friend is a fourteen-year-old guy. You know, I don't usually like to obsess over my insecurities, but I'm beginning to worry there's something wrong with me. Of course, there's no time to dwell on that, because I have to go hunting or else my baby sister won't have any dinner. FML.

Today, I tried to teach Prim to hunt. It did not go well, and I had to cover her eyes as I gave the rabbit its deathblow. Even so, I'm beginning to think that I inadvertently turned her into a vegetarian – in which case, there's no way she'll _ever_ have enough to eat. FML.

…Today I was called at the reaping… Well, actually Prim was called… And my District partner is this guy who may have kind of, sort of saved my life. Once. Years ago. He bakes and stuff. Sorry for the rambling, I feel a little light-headed. But yeah, FML.

In fact, FML _for real._ I'm about to go and try to kill people in an arena. Surviving is like, unlikely. And my mentor's drunk, and my partner is one of those faces that they show, when your life is flashing through your eyes. Uh oh. What if my life is flashing through my eyes already? And then this is a dream, and I'm actually suffocating in my pillow? Damn Buttercup, why don't you wake me up, you stupid cat! FML.

…Peeta and my mentor just threw up all over the floor… Ew. And he's supposed to help us you know, not die and everything? FML.

The alleged "Boy with the Bread" is pissing me off. I have a headache now, and personally I think that this is unfair. If I'm going to die soon, shouldn't I be allowed to retain basic painlessness? FML.

My designer is… interesting. No, well, he's a nice guy and everything. But he's one of those types where you can tell that he's thinking a million different things that you could never understand. Oh and yup, I'm pretty sure he's going to burn me alive. That too. FML.

…I take it back. The costume was cool, and eye grabbing and everything. Except, now we have to train and practice and crap. And Haymitch has instructed Peeta and I to act like we're best friends. And I think I'm about five seconds away from a stress-induced breakdown. FML.

Okay. I've had it. Our stupid, stupid little chaperone with her pink hair and squeaky voice. I mean, what is this? Do they think we're not being tortured enough? Effie ML.

Ack. I may have just shot an arrow at the Gamemakers. But they were asking for it, you know. They were ignoring me and being drunk and oblivious. I lost my patience, and I'm feeling kind of stupid now. Katniss Everdeen: too violent even for the Games. FML.

So, I actually aced my gaming session. Yeah, kind of a twist there. But at the moment, I don't really care. That stupid, insolent little (CENSORED) just decided to tell the world that he has a crush on me. Oh. My. God. FML.

After being lectured about how Peeta actually did me a favor tonight, I'm starting to feel a little stupid (again). I mean, actually, he's not so bad sometimes. And he did me a favor, like everyone said. But now I feel all embarrassed about breaking his hands, and it's annoying me. FML.

Tonight when I was talking to Peeta, he told me that he wants to prove to the Capitol he isn't just a piece in their Games. Wow. That's pretty deep thinking for someone who spends his days icing dainty flowers onto cakes. I mean _really_. I'm starting to feel just the tiniest bit bitchy and selfish (not that I haven't felt that way before). And OH SHIT, the Games start tomorrow. Not that I forgot or anything, but yeah. FML!

…Gale. Oops. Yeah. Was trying to avoid thinking about that, but couldn't help it at around three in the morning. I mean, he's one of those enough-to-turn-me-to-a-mushy-mess thoughts on any day, but after Peeta's little confession… I'm worried. A bit. A lot. And I shouldn't be, probably, since chances are I'm never going to see him again. Well, that's just lovely. I dumped him before ever dating him, and now I'm going to go die. Whoopee. FML.

I am about to enter the 74th annual Hunger Games. It's kind of a mind blowing experience, although one I do not recommend. Some of these kids are BIG, and I'm sort of worried they could kill me in about a second. Uh oh, I probably shouldn't get distracted, should I? Never mind. Ready to go FML.

A/N: It's a little different than PJO one, since it's more of a narrative and less of individual FMLs. Oh, and yeah, Katniss will definitely have a few more chapters of her own. But I want to move onto the other characters first, and then I'll come back to her. Happy reading to you all, and please leave me your reviews!


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